Cheery Bananas Online

S Club To Re-Package


Following the phenomenal success of S-Club 7 Juniors, with their impish hits “S Club Junior Party” and “Sex Me Up Baby” the management and promoters of the newly reformed S-Club 7 are looking to break their current mould and repackage for an older, narrower demographic.
Lazlo Spoons, managing director of Kindergarten Records explained the thinking behind the “new look” S-Club at a press conference yesterday.
“We've got the seven to seventeen market sewn up," said Spoons.
“We now feel it’s time to secure the eighteen to thirties.”
Spoons announced that thousands had been spent on consumer research and opinion polls over the last few months.
“Our findings show that the most affluent consumers in the 18-30 age bracket are male, white, blue collar or manual workers,” said Spoons. “They like Footie, Jo Guest, Steven Segal movies and heavy drinking so the band has been the repackaged to suit.”
As such, Rachel will now be called Jugs, with the other girls being allowed to chose names from the following: “Lil' Darlin'”, “Ass Shaker”, “Gaggin' Gal”, “Go-Go Ho’”, and “Alice”.
While the male line up in the band stays much the same, they are joined by “Gaz” a Cheeky-Chappie type from the Isle of Dogs.
“Our research found that our target market consider the other lads a little too clean cut,” Spoons told us.
“So we drafted in Gaz who’ll add much needed bigotry to the mix as well as his hilarious habit of touching up the girls while pished out of his tits.”

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